Day 23 — The Last Person you Kissed

“Kissing is like drinking salted water: you drink and your thirst increases” (Chinese Proverbs)

I often find myself staring at your mouth.  I want to apologize if it makes you feel uncomfortable.  My parents raised me not to stare but I can’t stop sneaking peeks.  Most times I’m gazing out of curiosity. Wondering what your mouth will do next.  I’m fascinated by the smirk that appears right before you share a sarcastic remark.  I get tiny butterflies when they slightly grace my ear lobe when whispering in my ear. They make it hard to concentrate on the message you are trying to pass along.  Your lips can be so comforting when you use them to lightly kiss my forehead before going away.  The room begins to spin when you press your lips against mine.  I find myself pulling away to catch my breath, but going back in for more.  There are times when you call me on the phone and all I can think about are your lips. Wondering when they will touch mine again.  

Affectionately yours, 

Beautifully Flawed

Day 22 — Someone you Want to Give a Second Chance To

“All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.” (Mae West)

I was prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt, but once again you failed. I want to say "Thank You" for being a douche.  While searching for my inspiration you stepped up to the plate. You showed me that I can't depend on you.  Albert Einstein once said that Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If I use that definition to govern our situation I realize that we are both totally insane. In fact I'm probably nuttier than you.  I'm all for second chances but at some point a person must pay attention to the huge beware sign. All I can do is shake my head as I type this because even though I know I shouldn't give you this "second" chance I'm putting on my boots to meet you. I guess I'm not ready to check into the psychiatric ward just yet. 

(Photo by: Monkeydungeon.com)

 
How do you decide that there is no room for second chances?

Affectionately yours, 

Beautifully Flawed

Day 21 — Someone you Judged by their First Impression

"Don't Judge a Book by its Cover" (UnKnown)

I love to hear people say that they aren't the type to judge a person upon first encounter. But let's be honest folks: Fish swim, birds fly, people judge. It's ingrained in us. You pass a person sporting an afro you might think they: A. write poetry or B. militant. You stumble across a fashion blog you might think the individual is vain or a wanna be model.  It's in us to label individuals and judge off of first encounters. But hopefully you have evolved enough to move past that first glance and try to learn about the individual. The old adage "Don't judge a book by its cover" is true. We shouldn't prejudge the worth or value of something, by its outward appearance alone. We should always try to go into every situation with an open mind and no preconceived notions. 

Have you ever almost missed out on an opportunity because you were hung up on the cover?

Affectionately yours,

 

Beautifully Flawed

Day 19 — Someone That Pesters Your Mind—Good or Bad

"I wanna put your number on the call block, Have AOL make my e-mails stop. 'Cause you a bug a boo You're bugging what, you're bugging who You're bugging me and don't you see it ain't cool" (Destiny's Child)

 Two strangers met one night at a restaurant. You needed a place to sit and I had an empty chair. Conversation flowed and contact information was exchanged. At first your texts suggesting to hang out appeared innocent. Hanging out is a way to get to know a person. I began to notice a change in your texts. It started off as mild annoyance when I couldn't hang out with you because of plans with my friends. Then your font became questioning and filled with anger. If I didn't respond back to right away I would receive a nasty message from you. Then a message apologizing for your actions blaming it on stress. Sadly because of  this new evidence during your friend probation period I have to terminate this friendship. Reasons being: I cringe at the sound of  Facebook pop.  I am hesitant in opening text messages from you. I wish you well in your friendship search.

Affectionately yours,

 

Beautifully Flawed

Day 18 — The Person That You Wish You Could Be

“I will never be the girl with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.”(Carrie Bradshaw)

 

The above quote is one of my favorites from  "Sex and the City".  I fell in love with this quote because it was a liberating moment for my beloved Carrie. She just finished reading the wedding announcement for Big and his twenty something model Natasha. With tears in her eyes she finally admits that she will never "BE" that girl and why try. Perhaps I'm off base but I don't see a point in writing a letter to this person that I wish I could be. Why in the world would I aspire to be someone else when I am ME! I'm spunky, creative, moody, respectful, at times disrespectful, opinionated, and slew of other adjectives (some good, a few not so good).  What I'm trying to say is that I appreciate who I am and I'm quite happy to be this quirky individual. Of course it would be nice to be that girl that cries pretty, wears matchy pieces, and uses correct grammar. But I've come to accept I'm an ugly crier. My socks and undergarments will never match up. (Right now I'm wearing one dress sock and one footie. Hey don't judge me. It's the darn sock monster, always stealing my socks.). And Spell Check is the best thing since slice bread.  So instead of wasting my time writing about who I could be, I'm going to celebrate the awesomeness that is me!

Who will you never be and have you embraced it? 

Affectionately yours,

 

Beautifully Flawed

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

“Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there” (UnKnown)

This quote goes out to all the individuals I love and hold dear to me that I don't get to see often due to a time zone difference. We might not speak or see one another daily, quarterly, or even yearly I find comfort knowing that there is someone across the pond in another time zone saying a little prayer for me.

 

Affectionately yours,

 

Beautifully Flawed

Day 15 — The Person You Miss the Most

"We use to laugh and talk all night, what happened to those days. Did they all just fade away?" (Aaron Hall)

Even though I talk to you daily, I miss the way we communicate. I could really go for one your make everything right in the world hugs. Maybe it's the full moon on the horizon but today I'm missing you more than ever. I miss our connection. I know if I share these thoughts you're going to chuckle and say "Silly billy how can you miss me when I haven't left?". But somehow part of you has gone away. Or perhaps it's me that is causing the disconnect.

Affectionately yours,

 

Beautifully Flawed

 

Day 13- Someone You Wish Could Forgive You

I apologize (Oh honest and true.). Because I know I was wrong and so I sing you this song. And I'm tryna get through to make it up to you yeah. (Anita Baker)

I hope and pray that there is nobody out there that is holding a grudge against me.

I would love for the following parties to look deep in their hearts and please forgive. 

This letter goes out to:

• All the individuals who I was late meeting for Happy Hour, dinners, movies, etc. It showed poor home training and lack of respect for your time. I apologize. Resolution: I will now call to properly inform you that I will be 15 minutes late.
• Best pals who've called with boyfriend drama and I let your call go straight to voicemail. Lord knows I've bent your ear perhaps a time or two and I should really be there in your time of need. Resolution: Even though we discussed your situation that day for 8 hours straight on instant messenger, I will pick up the phone and I will deliver my lines on cue: "He is so going to regret breaking up with you", "His new girlfriend is such a cow"
• Random people I might have misconstrued the truth to. Be it the one whale of a tale or a little white lie I apologize for not being upfront and honest. Resolution: Plead the fifth from here on out. 
• The slow walking folks. I would like to apologize to the people I have sped walked passed to make sure I was the next person in line. My brisk walk past you stirring up dust is uncalled for.  Resolution: I will try and contain the competitive beast within and appreciate being a lollygagger.
• All persons I've encountered in my life that I might have offended in some shape in form on purpose or unknowingly. Resolution: Pray that you get a sense of humor. (I kid, I kid)

Affectionately yours,

 

Beautifully Flawed

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us” (Herman Hessee)

Hate: : intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury : to feel extreme enmity toward (Merriam-Webster)

 After looking up the word Hate I had some trouble with this entry.  Like most individuals I've used the word hate often but never knew how heavy duty of a word it was. It was difficult to select someone as a candidate seeing that I've never felt that much intense hostility towards another person before. Yes, people have caused me heartache and hurt but I've never Hated them.  If I had to write this letter to someone to fulfill this challenge, I would choose myself. There was a moment in time when I was disturbed by my actions, my sense of fear, and anger.  I was injured and refused to be repaired. No one would of guessed the feelings I had brewing inside. I was a wounded by emotional vampires.  Familiar situations paralyzed me. I allowed myself to become the dumping ground for negative energy. The stranger peering at me in the mirror caused my blood to boil.  Thankfully I was able to recover from these feelings of self loathing. I constantly strive never to visit that dark place again. 

Affectionately yours,

 

Beautifully Flawed